Yesterday

Yesterday, I was a little too cavalier in the use of my automobile's gas, and I finally ran out after being on E for the trip to my store. I was told to run an errand by my boss. So I did. But the car wouldn't start. A quandary. Luckily I was right next door to a gas station.
There was a man there pumping gass. He knew my dilemma. The man smiled slightly. In the blurry heat I looked back at him without expression. There was silence, or as much as could be allowed in the urban setting. We stood there. He and I, looking at each other. After a moment, the man shrugged and went back to his business. I nodded. A crossroads had been passed. The man would trouble me no further. I went inside and got the gas tank from the clerk. I filled my car with a gallon of gas from the plastic jug's insides. My car drank thirstily. I returned the gas tank to the clerk, and came back outside. I wiped the sweat from my brow. I got in my car. I then drove. The city swallowed me.

~Fin

Yo Joe

So I've started collecting the new G.I. Joe comics. I love 'em. The nostalgia factor, the kick ass uniforms. The codenames. The fact that each Joe had a specialty. I eat it up. I don't have a clear idea why. I think I enjoy the clearly implied good and bad. G.I.Joe is good. Cobra, is bad. I especially like how they made it easy to identify that Cobra were the bad guys by forcing you to identify them with, well, the Cobra. Cobras are dangerous reptiles! Poisonous! Stay away kids!
Let's cover the codenames too. Man, I really loved the codenames. Once you become a bad ass, you get a codename. It's brilliant. And, 95% of the time, your codename perfectly described some aspect of your job. For example. Shipwreck? jaunty sailor guy. Roadblock? Big black machine gunning guy. Although, he does have a penchant for rhyming that perhaps he could get some therapy for. Tripwire, demolitions and booby trap removal. Clutch? Vehicle specialist. Tunnel Rat? You guessed it, he went through tunnels and such. Gung Ho? Marine! Good times. Let it not be said that this privilege was extended only to G.I. Joe. Nay friends, nay. COBRA, had its share. Though usually it was a type of soldier, they called vipers, with some helpful prefix that described their position. I.E: Televipers. Telecomunications dontcha know. Alley vipers. Urban warfare. Snow vipers. Ice and snow terrain soldiers. they also had some character specific ones. Dr.Mindbender? Mad scientist. Cobra Commander? Self explanatory, The Baroness? Evil Baroness dig it. On occasion however....the codenames go a little awry. Take Destro for example. Now....Destro is one of the commander of Cobra's army. He's not a guy you wanna screw with, owns his own country even.....but he wears a metal mask covering his head completely.
He's not called like, Metalhead, or...I dunno....Alloy. He's just Destro. But, he has some troops and a castle and stuff, so I guess he made a good decision or two outside of the whole mask arena. For G.I. Joe? We have Snake Eyes. Now....Snake Eyes is like a ninja bad ass. Everyone who likes G.I. Joe loves him. He also never. speaks. WoOoOooO But really? I can't exactly figure out why he went with Snake eyes other than his visor is slitted. Or since he took that vow of silence, the other Joes got drunk one night and just sort of gave it to him, and he couldnt say anything about it. Whatever.
There is another thing I always considered a little odd about G.I. Joe. They always sent like, one really odd choice for the mission. Like, they'll know there is this hidden base in a town over run by cobra agents, so they'll do something like send Duke, Lady Jaye, and Shipwreck. You know. Because a sailor is really that bit of extra something we need here. Or for the under water show youll have Wetsuit( the diver guy), Gung Ho, and Roadblock. You know. The MACHINE GUNNER. Because if the shit hits the fan in a sub, I want the guy with high velocity .50 cal slugs dispensed from his gun to get nervous. Oh yeah, and G.I. Joe, also had a spy. Apparently he was pretty good. And a bit of a wise cracker. His name........ was Chuckles.
In the cartoon, CHUCKLES wore a loud hawaiian shirt. and green pants. He would dispense intel on occasion.One assumed he dressed up as a cobra agent or something.But, Cobra knew who he was! It's the 007 syndrome all over. He goes in, get the info from a Cobra guy, thanks him, Cobra guy smiles and lets him practically leave the base before he THEN curses and scrambles the troops with the Alert siren. I mean, cmon Cobra. Sheesh.
One last item. On the Cartoon show, at the end,G.I. Joe did public service announcements, you probably remember them......
Duke: Johnny! Dont put that cat in the blender! Appliances should only be used for their original purpose, or you could get hurt! Also, that's sick!
Johnny: Oh my gosh Duke! You're right! That is messed up! Now I know!
Duke:.........*big grin* and knowing is half the battle Johnny! Yo Joe!
Johnny: ....Yo Joe!
.................Ok,Ok, so I used a little poetic license, but the real problem is how sometimes the strangest person would be used as the moral deliverer. Like, I could swear I remember an episode where Roadblock is warning kids not to get into a car with a stranger. Good message. Being delivered by a 6'4 brick house of a black man that has a tendency to rhyme. Huh? Stick Duke on this or something. It was also odd, because I dont remember the ladies on the team ever doing a safety thing. You figure Lady Jaye might have at least done an Archery Safety Announcement. Ah well. *hums the theme song*

Red, White, and Blah

I am not a patriot. Now, don't get me wrong.... I like my country pretty well. I mean, there are things about it I really enjoy. But I also notice the hypocrisy and double dealing our country does. I don't think it's right. But I also don't think it means our country is the worst around. I'm not political, because I refuse to get that involved. This will undoubtedly result in commentary...and that's great....but I guess what I'm really trying to say is....I don't care that much. And the times I do care? People just screw it up. I dont think we should be in Iraq. Nope. Seems like a lot of bad business. On the other hand, Iraq wasnt doing so hot before we came along. I dont think we should be keeping that woman alive by artificial means. Doesnt mean I like her husband. I like that we gave England money. I enjoy the BBC. I dont like that it sort of made England our bitch in the political arena. I enjoy John Travolta. I dont enjoy Scientology. I appreciate modern art for being art, but I dont appreciate the price i'd have to pay for some. I like the armed services. I dont really want to join them. I am pro choice. Doesnt mean I want to kill babies, or have drug babies born with horrible problems. I could continue on.
But the thing is.....I dont really want to get wrapped up in any of that. I dont feel as if any of that defines me specifically as a person. I cant picture myself in an anti war strike, because I can appreciate the positive affects of war along with the life destroying negatives. I have opinions. Some of them are strong. But I wont take away other's ability to voice their own opinions, or hamper them unless it significantly threatens something I love. So. Republicans. Democrats. Have your squabbles. But, dont preach to me. It's annoying. And yes, I do think Tom Delay is a dick.
If you really want some powerful opinions on the circus that is our political structure, give my friend Veronica a hit on her web site: http://www.aldahlia.net/m/
But, for the record? Yeah, I think Tom DeLay is a prick.

Sleep, The other Deep REM.

Man. I am tired. I am a diagnosed sleep apnia sufferer. Im a pretty bad case too. I have a machine and everything. Only problem is? I dont ever use it. Then I started again almost a year ago, and I broke my mask. so for something like a year or so I havent been using it....and its been affecting my health. Lots of people look at me like im stupid when I say I dont use it. I suppose it is. But it all goes back to my depression and such. I mean, what am I really doing with my life? Im not happy anyway, yadda yadda yadda. I think i'm oooooooooohhhhhh so slowly getting tired of thinking that way though. Also, my vision is shitty now. blurry vision, hard to concentrate....it's one of the Labors of Hercules just to spit out this blog in a semi coherent fashion.
I taped up the mask. Machine doesnt work that great with my ghetto rigged mask, but I dont have the 140.00 to replace it. Yup. That's right. 140. Fuck. That. But I suppose I will in fact pony it up pretty soon. I mean I need to right? Also, being awake is not what it's cracked up to be. People always want to bother you just because you are ambulatory and responsive and such. I could be asleep, and here I am....being awake like a sucker. So I will take steps. And hopefully said steps will lead me to a nice sleepy goodness. Fight the power.


~Dave

Animal Control

I have several pets in my life time. 2 dogs, 3 cats, assorted goldfish (poor bastards) 3 salamanders, 1 large snail. None of these pets have been extraordinarily noisey. Please note that I did not say the dogs and cats were not noisey, but then neither did they constantly make noise. The people keeping the dogs next door, apparently own dogs that don't understand that their incessant fighting and yipping is....well, its really just fucking obnoxious is what it is. Perhaps you feel that the expletive there is a bit much, this is ok, as you have obviously not heard these dogs go at it for over an hour at a time. I live in an apartment complex, and there are many people here who own pets. None, of these other people have had problems keeping their pets behaved. Or at least reasonably well enough behaved so as to be noticed only in one's peripheral. The other thing that bothers me about these dogs? It's not really the dogs fault. I mean, sure, they ARE extremely vexing.......but they also spends hours cooped up in a space something like 10 x 15 or a very similar figure. For hours. Literally. And i've taken a peak, their space isnt clean either. Crap is left on the pavement, the bowl of water, while huge, is left there all day, its shabby. It also stinks depending on the weather. If you dont have the time to spend on some pets....dont keep them. It's rather simple to my mind. Also, it makes you look like a dick if you let your pets carry on like that. Or keep them in those conditions. "A big jerk lives here" is the picture that paints.
I think the other problem with all this is, I will now have to.....COMPLAIN. Now, I've almost never officially had to COMPLAIN, because I hate doing it. I don't want to make waves, or chastise people, I just want to get through a day without having to wince as a dog yips apart my peaceful nap. To COMPLAIN has always to me marked one as a type of person who cant let shit go. But this has been going on for several months. Also, I do not sleep well. So I feel that anything that screws that for me can get a nice cold can of "Shut your dogs the hell up" if they are thirsty.

Peace out.

~ Dave

What HAPPENED?

Remember when birthdays used to be cool? I do. Back when you could equate each year with some new privilege, or a new school year, birthdays owned. Or how about when you were a kid, and you longed for more adult responsibilities? What a crimson herring that turned out to be. I just cant get into my birthday happy mood this year. It really kind of bugs the crap out of me. I cant exactly figure out when I stopped enjoying them so much. It's a bit odd really. Let us say nothing of the nature of gifts one receives on their birthday. Take, for example, video games. I loved video games and comics as a child. They kicked ass. So imagine that, years later, I still do! Do I have responsibility problems? Yes. Are they going to go away on my birthday if you give me that nice looking, respectable shirt you liked instead of the computer game I wanted? No. My family has trouble grasping this idea sometimes. I enjoy reading. I enjoy sci fi and fantasy. I like games of all sorts. I like music. I am not hard to shop for. Does that mean I always know what I want? No. But its not so difficult. I'm just as bound to enjoy a gift I didnt think of as long as you thought i'd really like it.
On another note, after...say....21? Getting old, sucks. There's nothing more to look forward to. Just a sense of pressure, that you are now in your free fall years till thirty, and if you dont do what you set out to do with your life....you're screwed. The idea that if you were to die prematurely in life, you might Get Judged at the Pearly Gates, and St. Pete will just look at you into your soul and ask "What HAPPENED?" This is sometimes the nervousness I get. But you see my point. No more privileges, just the occassional bills, thrills, and debt. That's not to say im not blowing all of this a little out or proportion. I mean, am perhaps giving the truth a little scope here... but im not entirely off I dont think. Maybe if we had more landmarks, like on your thirtieth birthday lets say its like mandatory that you get laid. Like we'll commission special "escorts" male AND female, who's job it is to have sex with you on your thirtieth. And for the sake of said arguement, since they are all getting paid, they should be pretty attractive. See? Something to look forward to. Then maybe at 40 you can skip fileing taxes that year and so forth. A little something. Obviously it'll fluctuate, but that's cool. Its reminiscient of life in a way. See? This is some good thinking, and I just got started!
So, now that I've rambled on a bit, i'm going to endeavor to enjoy my B day to its fullest. The one GREAT thing about B days, is...it's your day to be selfish. I mean, like as selfish as you'd sometimes like to be. And, as far as im concerned, that's awesome. But then again im pretty nuerotic. If you'd like to tell me how great I am on the 23rd, post a comment. Either way, take care.
~Dave

Some B day Ideas for those who know who they's(?!) is:
I love comics. You almost cant go wrong here.
sci fi or fantasy books. Ive been turned on to several good ones by friends. You could be that friend!
Food. I'm fat. I like food. Go fig.
Some cool art. ala comic, photographic, or dorky in nature. I needs to show off my personality more.
Ripped movies,games,or series.
Women. I like them.
a 1,000,000,000 dollars. ok ok ok,
a 1,000?

I Am Dave's Battered Psyche.

People who know me well will immediately recognize the truth of this statement: I don't like myself. I have not made wise decisions. I do not do the right thing for the right reasons sometimes. I am not selfless. I am not honest all the time. I am not as compassionate as id like to be. I used to fear my father. Now I resent him slightly. I love my mom, but she makes me uncomfortable because I feel guilty. Ive treated friends in ways you cant apologize for ever, and have had trouble feeling bad about that. These things bother me, because *I* am really the only one I can blame for the decisions ive made. I'd love to say aliens abducted me, or the governement did tests on me to make me a loser.....truth is though, a scared kid does lots of stupid shit. I dont have a plan for my life, because if I did have one id just abandon it. Im not sure how i'd ever deal with success, because I dont ever really experience it. Ive convinced myself that I have been Beaten. I am Done. Do Not Pass Go. Do NOT Collect 200 dollars. Im tired all the time. Being defeatist does that to you. And the worst part is that my apathy is so cyclic. I know there are things I could do to help myself out, but part of me is just CERTAIN that those things wouldnt work. I dont care about much anymore. I have physical problems. I worry about myself all the time. But in a distracted...like "looking at fish you dont feed regularly in an aquarium" way. I'm so disconnected. It would annoy me if I could gather up the energy. This post means relatively little. It's more or less just removing some of that blue fluff from my psyche's dryer filter. And really, that sounded close to some sort of apology...which annoys the crap outta me. So having accomplished......whatever it is I felt I accomplished here, I shall now go make lunch.


Later.

This topic is so lifeless

Zombies freak me out. I wouldn't say they scare me anymore, but I do tend to make a face when they are brought up. See, the problem with zombies, is that they are dead. I could deal with mutant alligators, aliens that begin life as parasites in your lung, or even evil puppets. Zombies are people that defied the laws of science as we know them, and have come back to "life". Because they have a need. That need is to treat you like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
That's the other uncool thing about Zombies. No agenda to thwart. They wont ever go away because you embarrased them,beat their leader in a duel, or destroyed their mother ship with an iMac, because they don't have these things. They want to rot all over what used to be your neighborhood, and eat anything that looks like its still got some pep in its step. They rot. Just thinking of the various levels of decomposition the average person goes through kind of turns my stomach. I think that's the most disturbing thing about them. You know as soon as you see one of these things, that the shit has hit the fan. Things are not well. Possible difficulties could lie ahead.
Other disturbing things about zombies? How about getting bitten? This is some unfair crap. You fight off a zombie horde, and as you are turning to flee as the numbers become too great, you get a lame little nick from a zombie tooth on your arm. Well, in most zombie lore, you are now screwed. Welcome to horrible pain, death, and then your new life as the undead. This also makes the threat of zombies a little more disturbing. Because zombies are not, in fact, all that menacing in terms of basic grammar structure, and land speed. But if even one out of every 10 gets the drop on some poor schmoe, that guy gets zombiefied too. Do I think it would happen as quickly as the movies imply? No, but I think it would still turn into quite the problem. Think about all the people that die each year over seas of disease and war and such. That's a lot of not-so-dead Sons Of Allah getting their snack on. Then there are other considerations.
I am your best friend. There is obviously something wrong with me, I look sick! And I keep moaning! You might try to help me. If you are a good friend you might. And because of that you get snacked on. Lets talk about the psychological problems here as well...Have you ever hit someone? Like with the intent of really dropping that person? Because as we have been warned by movies, damage to the head is the only hint these things will take that they are still dead. So, imagine actually having to cave skull with shovel? Makes you wince doesn't it? This first problem with zombies brought us naturally to the second big problem with zombies. There are bound to be a lot of them. We have one big cemetery in Denton. Its old, but of decent size. That's not good news for the two apartment complexes located around it. It could spread some before people FULLY comprehend just how uncool things are with the world.
This is not to say I think civilization couldnt bounce back. Im saying it probably wouldnt for a few years. That's a lot of undead ppl to sift through. Things wont be well for awhile. One hopes nukes dont get dropped either, because that is just a double fuck you. Nuclear winter AND the undead? SCORE. Because that might happen. Enough shit hits the fan? You might just end up with 10 or 12 guys at a big table deciding to press the button as a few towns get over run. We've done stupid things before as America. Just trying to prepare you people.
Some other things to discuss. Its ok to take things from stores if your town is over run by zombies. This is a given. If society crumbles, and you really need that can of Chef Boyardee ravioli or that shotgun. Take it. If society is reestablished I don't think people are going to sweat it much. If you need a car and there is one handy, just look at the undead mob behind you and make up your mind. No one will riot much, because they wont have the leisure of time if the walking masses of undead approach. Also, its much easier to shoot something than to hit it with a shovel. Disconnection from the violence and all that. If you need to shoot a zombie, then do so. Do NOT be one of those people that gets snacked on because they couldn't pull the trigger. These people are already dead! That they are ambulatory, is not their natural state. Therefore, shooting them or how ever you choose to go about it, is not wrong. You are restoring the natural order of things. Is this rationale flawless? Nope. But I'm sure it'll work wonders for you when you end up in this situation.
You all might think this entry slightly silly. And for the most part, it was intended as such. But I know what items in my house can be used as weapons, and I always have a few canned goods handy.
Later.

Pleasing the Masses

I like the new Battlestar Galactica.
I tried to get the title to my Dad's trooper in my name today, and it did not work.
I had Sonic for lunch. My chili fries tasted of unrealized potential, and my burger was a metaphor for crushed dreams.
I am poor.
I like puppies.
I think haiku is difficult.
Yeah.

Have You Even PLAYED This Game b4????!!

I'd like to have a word with people who enjoy multiplayer online games. Well, perhaps two words: Eat me. Why the bitter sentiment you ask? Because. people have a tendency to let hypocrisy rule their judgement. I am as guilty of it as anyone else. Yet, one of the few times that it really and TRULY gets my goat is when L33T_Sh00T3R berates me for being a "newb" and not mastering the game the moment I logged on. As if by some miracle, our numbers-for-letters friend was not at some point in time a new player himself. Also, I'm not entirely certain people realize these games I speak of are, in fact, JUST games. Take Counter Strike for example. While I suppose its vaguely possible, I dont think that Al Qaeda terrorists are actually logging on as the terrorist faction, while I, in my minimum wage slacker glory, take up arms agaisnt them. No one is going to die. No priceless artifacts are being destroyed..... So when I decide to break left with MadMatador and GuNFrEnZy, I don't get it when Dr.Glock screams at me to "Stay with the GRRRRROOOOOOUUUUUUPPP!!!". Especially when, minutes later, he's mowed down in a hail of cyber terrorist gun fire. And the stats these people keep! Woe and peril befall the person that
Doesnt have more than 2 kills per death. Or that you spent 30 more rounds chopping some poor schmoe's body and half than you had to. You know. because in real life all of that matters.
These are just some of the problems I have with online SHOOTERS. Let us now delve briefly into the strangeness that hath been dubbed the MMORPGs. When I choose to indulge myself in games tabletop, video, or otherwise....I like to have some sort of power. Note that I need not be power*ful*, though that has its appeal as well, it's just that I need some ability or trait that sets me apart from the NPC that just took most of the money I had earned by killing the surrounding indigenous wildlife and exchanging it for a shoddy leather cap. Thats not very empowering is it? Thus armored in the equivalent of my T shirt, pajama pants,silly hat, and shoes that are in fact NICER than my real ones..I set off to gain "levels". What shall I use for a weapon....hmm...yes this branch will do.....Sorry, I mean "club". So armed with club and my cloth armor, I bring swift retribution to all Large Rats, Skeletons, Bats,and other Assorted Vermin. After a short time, I get a level. Having received this boon for my efforts, I suddenly gain hit points, and competency in mundane skills and professions of my choosing. And what an assortment to choose from! Baking! Smithing! Swimming! Running! I make sport of this because, it seems slightly silly.
Sure, this is a game. I get that. Certain things have to be taken into account, in an effort to provide some semblance of believability. I comprehend this as well. But. I don't need to swat at a man sized aggressor four times in order to hit him once.
Im pretty sure I could hit with just the one go. Im all for the powers that be to tell me I didnt do much damage, because in real life im quite the pansy, HOWEVER, I could still hit said humanoid.
Much less a large rat. Because, well, large rats are creepy, and if one were coming at me, I imagine my proficiency with a club would rise to meet the challenge. Also, i'm not down with these quests they come up with. Go to city. Talk to merchant. Learn about Merchant's daughter. She has been kidnapped. Go to City B ( a continent away). Talk to Guild Thief. Guild Theif wants Gem. Go to City C (an island this time). Talk to Constable Stan. Learn about Mysterious Dungeon. Go to Dungeon. Get Gem. Sorry, Defeat Troll. THEN get Gem. Go to City B...Talk to Thief. Give Gem. Get Daughter back. Go back to Merchant in City A. Get a Leather Shirt, 2oo gold, and here....have another level. Did all that seem dull? It is kind of. Oh. And never ask other people on these servers for help. They are all the White Rabbit. They all are late for a vital appointment you are keeping them from. Some will ridicule you, some will be foreign, and some will roleplay a little too hard. Avoid these last the most avidly if you are new. You need to know where the Guild Hall is, not that you are a Dark Elf hated by High Elves, and that he would rather gut you than speak to you. Stupid High Elf Cleric. Hope he has to be a newbie someday. That'd learn him.. Mrmm..Grfrmph....*mumbles*

Captain Lemming and his Same Shit Commandos

Those who know me will be highly amused by this chosen means of expressing myself. I have commented in the past that I hate blogs. By which I meant to imply - I loathe them. But, it seems that many of the people I have cherished the company of over the years....have at one time or another endeavored to share the things they have thought and witnessed with the masses of that wonderful waste of time we call the internet. Who am I to deprive all of what I had for lunch? Or indeed, how I feel that the first three seasons of The Simpsons were the best, but the rest of them kind of suck? What if I feel that Relijon r33ly sux? Who will bare witness to my badly spelled and strangely inane comments? Certainly, I could do no worse than the rest of those who feel the need to post similar diatribe. I even enjoy several blogs. Much to my chagrin. So here I sit, finding myself amused....and slightly pleased with my current undertaking. Do I really expect many to read this? No. Because its just like everyone else's blog. I am forwarding no new territory, I am not climbing the highest mountaintop, and I really think the last season of Angel was rather abrupt. I rather prefer season 3 I think.

Cheers.