I have, for the past month and a half or so, been employed as a security guard. I make sure that none of the cellular phones that my employers repair or manufacture are stolen. Apparently cell phones that don't necessarily work are a hot commodity. I don't get it either. However, I trooper on, because as the old adage goes "Mine is not to reason why, mine is but to do or die" ... The problem here is, I was prepared to walk the graveyard shift. I was looking forward to venturing forth in to the black of night with only my wits and a long steel flashlight to combat evil with. I mean, grain silos, or fenced in yards, or whatever I imagined myself guarding are surely prime targets for larcenous activity. I mean, fenced in yards could hold anything, and grain silos...Well...I mean, it's a dietary staple! I ran scenarios through my head of the crazy mad cap adventures I would have on my lonesome rounds.
Sometimes reality's cruelty feels much to me as a starving, very sick person in Africa must feel after eating an orange, there's this sudden buzz of clarity in the back of your head, and it leaves you feeling vaguely ill for awhile afterward.
My job is pseudo militaristic. I don't approve. I have...lessee here....Ah 12 persons of rank above me, yes 12 people who are able to take me to task on anything I'm doing if they have the mind. Some of it is reasonable. Some of it is completely silly bullshit. Like, "GUEST, why are you walking outside instead of inside when I told you to rove?!" Saying things like it's "faster" , or "More efficient" are comments that are met with scorn. I wasn't asked the better way to perform my tasks. I was told how ATC wanted me to perform said task. The difference there is so subtle I almost missed it.
I'm getting to the point where I envy the people who wipe butts at state school. But my job is just so god damned *easy*. I am damn near quite literally just paid to sit there, Or stand. It'd be awesome if the boredom weren't like the vacuum of air into space inside my head.
Also, I'm vaguely tired of telling people to put their shoes in the box, or anything I have to touch that is well worn and sweaty. These people work 10 hour shifts. It is at times a job that lacks valor..Or odor eaters. That reminds me....A note to the employees of ATC : Your job sucks. You win. It's not fun to go through all the security bullshit you go through. Congrats for realizing that. That having been said, if you continue to work there anyway? Find a way to cope. I am quickly becoming tired of having to deal with peoples tantrums because they just had to wear the jacket pants with 17 zippers, and they somehow never thought that this might get them stopped at the metal detectors. C'mon people. Sheesh.
Also, I occasionally have to tell extremely attractive women to please put their personals in the box. Or I have to wand them. Heh. Wand. ........Anyway, it sometimes taxes my Inner Beavis to not snicker. Other than that, my job isn't so bad. This update was gonna be a little bit meatier, but then I was all like "Nah."
