Pleasing the Masses

I like the new Battlestar Galactica.
I tried to get the title to my Dad's trooper in my name today, and it did not work.
I had Sonic for lunch. My chili fries tasted of unrealized potential, and my burger was a metaphor for crushed dreams.
I am poor.
I like puppies.
I think haiku is difficult.
Yeah.

Have You Even PLAYED This Game b4????!!

I'd like to have a word with people who enjoy multiplayer online games. Well, perhaps two words: Eat me. Why the bitter sentiment you ask? Because. people have a tendency to let hypocrisy rule their judgement. I am as guilty of it as anyone else. Yet, one of the few times that it really and TRULY gets my goat is when L33T_Sh00T3R berates me for being a "newb" and not mastering the game the moment I logged on. As if by some miracle, our numbers-for-letters friend was not at some point in time a new player himself. Also, I'm not entirely certain people realize these games I speak of are, in fact, JUST games. Take Counter Strike for example. While I suppose its vaguely possible, I dont think that Al Qaeda terrorists are actually logging on as the terrorist faction, while I, in my minimum wage slacker glory, take up arms agaisnt them. No one is going to die. No priceless artifacts are being destroyed..... So when I decide to break left with MadMatador and GuNFrEnZy, I don't get it when Dr.Glock screams at me to "Stay with the GRRRRROOOOOOUUUUUUPPP!!!". Especially when, minutes later, he's mowed down in a hail of cyber terrorist gun fire. And the stats these people keep! Woe and peril befall the person that
Doesnt have more than 2 kills per death. Or that you spent 30 more rounds chopping some poor schmoe's body and half than you had to. You know. because in real life all of that matters.
These are just some of the problems I have with online SHOOTERS. Let us now delve briefly into the strangeness that hath been dubbed the MMORPGs. When I choose to indulge myself in games tabletop, video, or otherwise....I like to have some sort of power. Note that I need not be power*ful*, though that has its appeal as well, it's just that I need some ability or trait that sets me apart from the NPC that just took most of the money I had earned by killing the surrounding indigenous wildlife and exchanging it for a shoddy leather cap. Thats not very empowering is it? Thus armored in the equivalent of my T shirt, pajama pants,silly hat, and shoes that are in fact NICER than my real ones..I set off to gain "levels". What shall I use for a weapon....hmm...yes this branch will do.....Sorry, I mean "club". So armed with club and my cloth armor, I bring swift retribution to all Large Rats, Skeletons, Bats,and other Assorted Vermin. After a short time, I get a level. Having received this boon for my efforts, I suddenly gain hit points, and competency in mundane skills and professions of my choosing. And what an assortment to choose from! Baking! Smithing! Swimming! Running! I make sport of this because, it seems slightly silly.
Sure, this is a game. I get that. Certain things have to be taken into account, in an effort to provide some semblance of believability. I comprehend this as well. But. I don't need to swat at a man sized aggressor four times in order to hit him once.
Im pretty sure I could hit with just the one go. Im all for the powers that be to tell me I didnt do much damage, because in real life im quite the pansy, HOWEVER, I could still hit said humanoid.
Much less a large rat. Because, well, large rats are creepy, and if one were coming at me, I imagine my proficiency with a club would rise to meet the challenge. Also, i'm not down with these quests they come up with. Go to city. Talk to merchant. Learn about Merchant's daughter. She has been kidnapped. Go to City B ( a continent away). Talk to Guild Thief. Guild Theif wants Gem. Go to City C (an island this time). Talk to Constable Stan. Learn about Mysterious Dungeon. Go to Dungeon. Get Gem. Sorry, Defeat Troll. THEN get Gem. Go to City B...Talk to Thief. Give Gem. Get Daughter back. Go back to Merchant in City A. Get a Leather Shirt, 2oo gold, and here....have another level. Did all that seem dull? It is kind of. Oh. And never ask other people on these servers for help. They are all the White Rabbit. They all are late for a vital appointment you are keeping them from. Some will ridicule you, some will be foreign, and some will roleplay a little too hard. Avoid these last the most avidly if you are new. You need to know where the Guild Hall is, not that you are a Dark Elf hated by High Elves, and that he would rather gut you than speak to you. Stupid High Elf Cleric. Hope he has to be a newbie someday. That'd learn him.. Mrmm..Grfrmph....*mumbles*

Captain Lemming and his Same Shit Commandos

Those who know me will be highly amused by this chosen means of expressing myself. I have commented in the past that I hate blogs. By which I meant to imply - I loathe them. But, it seems that many of the people I have cherished the company of over the years....have at one time or another endeavored to share the things they have thought and witnessed with the masses of that wonderful waste of time we call the internet. Who am I to deprive all of what I had for lunch? Or indeed, how I feel that the first three seasons of The Simpsons were the best, but the rest of them kind of suck? What if I feel that Relijon r33ly sux? Who will bare witness to my badly spelled and strangely inane comments? Certainly, I could do no worse than the rest of those who feel the need to post similar diatribe. I even enjoy several blogs. Much to my chagrin. So here I sit, finding myself amused....and slightly pleased with my current undertaking. Do I really expect many to read this? No. Because its just like everyone else's blog. I am forwarding no new territory, I am not climbing the highest mountaintop, and I really think the last season of Angel was rather abrupt. I rather prefer season 3 I think.

Cheers.