Later.
Monday, February 28, 2005
I Am Dave's Battered Psyche.
People who know me well will immediately recognize the truth of this statement: I don't like myself. I have not made wise decisions. I do not do the right thing for the right reasons sometimes. I am not selfless. I am not honest all the time. I am not as compassionate as id like to be. I used to fear my father. Now I resent him slightly. I love my mom, but she makes me uncomfortable because I feel guilty. Ive treated friends in ways you cant apologize for ever, and have had trouble feeling bad about that. These things bother me, because *I* am really the only one I can blame for the decisions ive made. I'd love to say aliens abducted me, or the governement did tests on me to make me a loser.....truth is though, a scared kid does lots of stupid shit. I dont have a plan for my life, because if I did have one id just abandon it. Im not sure how i'd ever deal with success, because I dont ever really experience it. Ive convinced myself that I have been Beaten. I am Done. Do Not Pass Go. Do NOT Collect 200 dollars. Im tired all the time. Being defeatist does that to you. And the worst part is that my apathy is so cyclic. I know there are things I could do to help myself out, but part of me is just CERTAIN that those things wouldnt work. I dont care about much anymore. I have physical problems. I worry about myself all the time. But in a distracted...like "looking at fish you dont feed regularly in an aquarium" way. I'm so disconnected. It would annoy me if I could gather up the energy. This post means relatively little. It's more or less just removing some of that blue fluff from my psyche's dryer filter. And really, that sounded close to some sort of apology...which annoys the crap outta me. So having accomplished......whatever it is I felt I accomplished here, I shall now go make lunch.
Later.
Later.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
This topic is so lifeless
Zombies freak me out. I wouldn't say they scare me anymore, but I do tend to make a face when they are brought up. See, the problem with zombies, is that they are dead. I could deal with mutant alligators, aliens that begin life as parasites in your lung, or even evil puppets. Zombies are people that defied the laws of science as we know them, and have come back to "life". Because they have a need. That need is to treat you like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
That's the other uncool thing about Zombies. No agenda to thwart. They wont ever go away because you embarrased them,beat their leader in a duel, or destroyed their mother ship with an iMac, because they don't have these things. They want to rot all over what used to be your neighborhood, and eat anything that looks like its still got some pep in its step. They rot. Just thinking of the various levels of decomposition the average person goes through kind of turns my stomach. I think that's the most disturbing thing about them. You know as soon as you see one of these things, that the shit has hit the fan. Things are not well. Possible difficulties could lie ahead.
Other disturbing things about zombies? How about getting bitten? This is some unfair crap. You fight off a zombie horde, and as you are turning to flee as the numbers become too great, you get a lame little nick from a zombie tooth on your arm. Well, in most zombie lore, you are now screwed. Welcome to horrible pain, death, and then your new life as the undead. This also makes the threat of zombies a little more disturbing. Because zombies are not, in fact, all that menacing in terms of basic grammar structure, and land speed. But if even one out of every 10 gets the drop on some poor schmoe, that guy gets zombiefied too. Do I think it would happen as quickly as the movies imply? No, but I think it would still turn into quite the problem. Think about all the people that die each year over seas of disease and war and such. That's a lot of not-so-dead Sons Of Allah getting their snack on. Then there are other considerations.
I am your best friend. There is obviously something wrong with me, I look sick! And I keep moaning! You might try to help me. If you are a good friend you might. And because of that you get snacked on. Lets talk about the psychological problems here as well...Have you ever hit someone? Like with the intent of really dropping that person? Because as we have been warned by movies, damage to the head is the only hint these things will take that they are still dead. So, imagine actually having to cave skull with shovel? Makes you wince doesn't it? This first problem with zombies brought us naturally to the second big problem with zombies. There are bound to be a lot of them. We have one big cemetery in Denton. Its old, but of decent size. That's not good news for the two apartment complexes located around it. It could spread some before people FULLY comprehend just how uncool things are with the world.
This is not to say I think civilization couldnt bounce back. Im saying it probably wouldnt for a few years. That's a lot of undead ppl to sift through. Things wont be well for awhile. One hopes nukes dont get dropped either, because that is just a double fuck you. Nuclear winter AND the undead? SCORE. Because that might happen. Enough shit hits the fan? You might just end up with 10 or 12 guys at a big table deciding to press the button as a few towns get over run. We've done stupid things before as America. Just trying to prepare you people.
Some other things to discuss. Its ok to take things from stores if your town is over run by zombies. This is a given. If society crumbles, and you really need that can of Chef Boyardee ravioli or that shotgun. Take it. If society is reestablished I don't think people are going to sweat it much. If you need a car and there is one handy, just look at the undead mob behind you and make up your mind. No one will riot much, because they wont have the leisure of time if the walking masses of undead approach. Also, its much easier to shoot something than to hit it with a shovel. Disconnection from the violence and all that. If you need to shoot a zombie, then do so. Do NOT be one of those people that gets snacked on because they couldn't pull the trigger. These people are already dead! That they are ambulatory, is not their natural state. Therefore, shooting them or how ever you choose to go about it, is not wrong. You are restoring the natural order of things. Is this rationale flawless? Nope. But I'm sure it'll work wonders for you when you end up in this situation.
You all might think this entry slightly silly. And for the most part, it was intended as such. But I know what items in my house can be used as weapons, and I always have a few canned goods handy.
Later.
That's the other uncool thing about Zombies. No agenda to thwart. They wont ever go away because you embarrased them,beat their leader in a duel, or destroyed their mother ship with an iMac, because they don't have these things. They want to rot all over what used to be your neighborhood, and eat anything that looks like its still got some pep in its step. They rot. Just thinking of the various levels of decomposition the average person goes through kind of turns my stomach. I think that's the most disturbing thing about them. You know as soon as you see one of these things, that the shit has hit the fan. Things are not well. Possible difficulties could lie ahead.
Other disturbing things about zombies? How about getting bitten? This is some unfair crap. You fight off a zombie horde, and as you are turning to flee as the numbers become too great, you get a lame little nick from a zombie tooth on your arm. Well, in most zombie lore, you are now screwed. Welcome to horrible pain, death, and then your new life as the undead. This also makes the threat of zombies a little more disturbing. Because zombies are not, in fact, all that menacing in terms of basic grammar structure, and land speed. But if even one out of every 10 gets the drop on some poor schmoe, that guy gets zombiefied too. Do I think it would happen as quickly as the movies imply? No, but I think it would still turn into quite the problem. Think about all the people that die each year over seas of disease and war and such. That's a lot of not-so-dead Sons Of Allah getting their snack on. Then there are other considerations.
I am your best friend. There is obviously something wrong with me, I look sick! And I keep moaning! You might try to help me. If you are a good friend you might. And because of that you get snacked on. Lets talk about the psychological problems here as well...Have you ever hit someone? Like with the intent of really dropping that person? Because as we have been warned by movies, damage to the head is the only hint these things will take that they are still dead. So, imagine actually having to cave skull with shovel? Makes you wince doesn't it? This first problem with zombies brought us naturally to the second big problem with zombies. There are bound to be a lot of them. We have one big cemetery in Denton. Its old, but of decent size. That's not good news for the two apartment complexes located around it. It could spread some before people FULLY comprehend just how uncool things are with the world.
This is not to say I think civilization couldnt bounce back. Im saying it probably wouldnt for a few years. That's a lot of undead ppl to sift through. Things wont be well for awhile. One hopes nukes dont get dropped either, because that is just a double fuck you. Nuclear winter AND the undead? SCORE. Because that might happen. Enough shit hits the fan? You might just end up with 10 or 12 guys at a big table deciding to press the button as a few towns get over run. We've done stupid things before as America. Just trying to prepare you people.
Some other things to discuss. Its ok to take things from stores if your town is over run by zombies. This is a given. If society crumbles, and you really need that can of Chef Boyardee ravioli or that shotgun. Take it. If society is reestablished I don't think people are going to sweat it much. If you need a car and there is one handy, just look at the undead mob behind you and make up your mind. No one will riot much, because they wont have the leisure of time if the walking masses of undead approach. Also, its much easier to shoot something than to hit it with a shovel. Disconnection from the violence and all that. If you need to shoot a zombie, then do so. Do NOT be one of those people that gets snacked on because they couldn't pull the trigger. These people are already dead! That they are ambulatory, is not their natural state. Therefore, shooting them or how ever you choose to go about it, is not wrong. You are restoring the natural order of things. Is this rationale flawless? Nope. But I'm sure it'll work wonders for you when you end up in this situation.
You all might think this entry slightly silly. And for the most part, it was intended as such. But I know what items in my house can be used as weapons, and I always have a few canned goods handy.
Later.
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